Human beings tend to reveal a lot of unconscious anger and ignorance in situations where they can not be fully confronted. Discontented slurs seem to pour out from those on the road or internet. Ironically, in these very same areas, we paint alluring pictures of our lives with sunny shots in beautiful bikinis or shiny new wheels with speed that can out-run any other angry driver. What these endless snarky comments and ‘move you stupid bitch’ outbursts bring to light, though, is that many of us are frustrated with our daily lives, finding small spurts of relief behind the screen or wheel.
What would happen if we threw these protective barriers away? If we admitted to each other that many of our lives are far from what we wished them to be and that we are secretly fed-up with the constant need to keep up with the demands we have made for ourselves?The only reason, I believe, some or many of us lash out at each other behind these barriers is because we ourselves feel inferior to some picture perfect life that none of us feel we have achieved yet believe, for some reason, everyone else has.
Society has taught us that, in one way or another, we are never enough. There is always more to do, more to aspire to and more to make us feel like we have to be tirelessly working at something to be considered worthy in a success-orientated world. I am not implying there is something wrong with ambition in itself and that we should be praised for laziness or just sort-of trying but is it not important to find love for ourselves separate from the constant noise of perfection and achievement? It seems our worth has either been based on doing more or receiving trophies for mediocrity. Either way, this drives narcissism and bases our worth on ‘doing’. Love or worthiness should not be based on trophies or rewards but on how deeply we can love ourselves and others, without expecting a pat on the back.
Regardless, and what is more shocking, is that still to this day, many are treated as less-than due to gender, sexual preference or the colour of their skin. We were never shown how to love ourselves and so it has become quite challenging to give love to others.As a result, we silently compete online as though life is a constant competition whilst directing our self-loathing towards, who are many times, complete strangers, through large letters, swear words and pulsing temples which only leave us with harsh headaches and a sense of emptiness.
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
Maybe if we learned to love ourselves first and encouraged others to do the same; for our mistakes for they make us wise, for our ‘flaws’ for the make us unique and for our failures for they reveal courage, we could learn to love others just the same. Perhaps this could create an environment free of the walls and the spite that has built up like toxic waste in the heart of humanity for much too long.