- Trying to become vegan. Having someone offer you bacon. Cursing the universe internally.
2. Having someone teach you how to feel energy with their hands. Internally thinking that they’re full of shit. Going to a friend and teaching them how to feel energy with their hands.
3. Drinking Ayahuasca. Puking your guts and soul out. Promising yourself you will never drink Ayahuasca again. Repeat.
4. Having Nickelback songs pop into your head in the middle of meditation.
5. Having people poke you in the forehead and say, ‘Lol. I poked you in your third eye.’
6. Wanting to poke those people in their real eyes.
7. Having the most enlightening experience that you can ever imagine where you realize that everything is just an illusion and you are one with the universe.
8…but then realizing that you still actually have to go to work on Monday.
9. Trying to see auras.
10. Failing at seeing auras.
11. And finally… Screaming at your crystals.