Since my second Ayahuasca ceremony, it’s as if a light switch has gone off inside of me. Through months of integration, I was surprised to find that a big part of this emanating light was teaching me how to love or to remember my love for the ordinary.
For practically my whole life I have been running after experiences: skinny dipping, getting tipsy at wine farms with friends, eating at strange restaurants, traveling around the country, going to festivals and just about anything you could probably find on some sort of cliche bucket list.
When I reached my early twenties I decided that now is the time to travel the world but, no matter how hard I tried, it seemed that something was always getting in the way. Through my introduction to the ordinary, I realized that this ‘something’, although seemingly on the outside, was my attachment to the idea of travel. Through my constant seeking out of crazy experience after crazy experience I began to conjure up some sort of belief that if I wasn’t consistently filling my life up with experiences that would make your grandma blush, I would always regret it and feel unfulfilled.
What I didn’t realize was that by trying to turn my life into a real-life reenactment of a Getaway magazine I was missing out on the cool breeze when it touched my face or the feeling of wet grass on my feet. I was forgetting about the satisfying soreness in my stomach that I get when I laugh so hard I can hardly breathe or the way my warm bed feels around me as I drift into sleep. I was forgetting the divinity of the ordinary.
This doesn’t mean that I have given up on my dream to travel the world. Desire itself can be a portal into the divine. It’s the attachment to desire that not only blocks its heavenly nature, but that prevents the true enjoyment that we originally found in it, from coming through.
Nothing, and I really mean nothing, will ever make us one hundred percent happy- at least not in the long term. Happiness itself is a very addictive drug that has us tiring ourselves out constantly in pursuit of whatsoever we think will give it to us-houses, cars, relationships, travel, enlightenment, little puppies that you can cuddle (okay so maybe puppies can give you eternal happiness. I was wrong.)
“Joy comes in ordinary moments. We risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.”-Brene Brown
My point is as long as you are always running after some novel idea of what you think your life should look like, you’re going to be missing out on the fact that ‘Spirit’, ‘God’ or whatsoever word you want to use, is right here, right now. If you don’t recognize the divinity within the ordinary, you’ll never truly reach the extraordinary.